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The Dating Mishaps of the Ladies of Love Twenty
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As part of the Loveawake team, we believe we know the ins and outs of everything to do with being in your twenties – but we had to get there somehow. And to get there, we were bound to make some mistakes along the way. When we heard about “Ladies Dating Badly” week, we knew we wanted to be a part of it… and these are our responses to the cringe-worthy question “What’s the worst dating/relationship mistake that you have made?”
TEHRENE FIRMAN, Editor-in-Chief
Oh boy. Where to begin? I’ve dated some real winners in my day. My biggest dating mistakes always revolved around dating guys that had certain things I liked about them, but also a lot of the so-called “big red flags” that I chose to ignore. I thought eventually, those big red flags would disappear because as a lover of “fixer-uppers,” I just knew I could change them. Well, turns out you can’t change a sucky personality. Luckily, once the light bulb went off and pretty much smacked me in the face, I eventually came to my senses and got the heck out of the fling.
From these “relationsh*ts,” I’ve definitely learned that with guys, it’s either take it or leave it. They don’t change for anyone, and if you hate something about them in the beginning, don’t ignore it because it’s still going to be there in the end. And it will totally drive you crazy along the way.
LAUREN DAVIS, Assistant Editor
Out of all the dating faux pas to make out there, I wanted to think of something original, but all I came up with was the been there, hopefully didn’t do that cringe-worthy mistakes like checking their Facebook, being overly aggressive in text messages, etc. So I turned to my friends to ask what their worst dating or relationship mistakes were hoping they had better stories. Well, my friend quickly replied that she still to this day regrets passing on a family trip to Russia in order to spend more time with her 3-month long boyfriend. Not only did she miss on an amazing trip to Russia (hello! It’s Russia!), but they broke up a month later. She recalls hearing family stories and bonding moments that she missed only to be spending what later seems like pointless days with her boy-toy. She quickly learned the lesson that family always comes first and boyfriends second (especially when once in a lifetime trips are in question).
CHELSEA TIRRELL, Intern
My biggest love mistake would have to be sticking around when I was dealing with a real life John Tucker. At first, I didn’t know about the other girls. He’d lie about his ex but I never caught on. Eventually, I was told that he was talking to two other girls – telling the same lies, leaving us the same notes, dropping the same lines – by the other girls he was talking to. Thank God for my blog. If the others hadn’t come across it, I never would have known.
I regret feeding him compliments, giving him all of my time and trust, and loving him as much as I did. Though I’d never take it back, I can’t believe how foolish I was. The signs were all there, I just never paid attention.
GRACIE FRIEND, Writer
So my biggest dating mistake was (a) not being true to myself and what I wanted, and (b) not trying to make any friendships outside of my relationship. Primarily, the problem was that I changed myself to please him, and to such an extent that I forgot what I wanted and my boundaries. And on top of that, I made no attempts to find other friends, other people to hang out with and talk to.
DESTINY HENDRIE, Writer
The worst mistake in a relationship I’ve ever made was in college… I tried to be too helpful to a boyfriend at the time, and that involved giving him money sometimes. Yuck! I know right. I was there trying to make it myself and I would shell out money here and there for him. Never again. Don’t give out your resources, ladies, and money is a big one. I grimace every time I think of it.
MORGAN WRIGHT, Writer
The biggest mistake I ever made was dating someone who wasn’t faithful! Girls don’t need a boy to define her life and have self-confidence and independence.
KIMBERLEE VAN DER WALL, Writer
The worst dating mistake that I have made is playing the games. If you play the “games” then you ultimately aren’t being yourself. If a guy likes me because you don’t answer his text for a day and play hard to get, then he’s not liking me. If a guy likes me because I have fancy taste and he wants to show off his money with gifts or fancy dinners, then he’s not liking me. I’m actually fine with a cheap or free date. What makes a date great is the company. Women need to stop worrying about “should I text him?” or “should I wait for him to ask me out?” and be themselves. If you are a girl who can patiently wait for him to call or text, then do that. If you like to text on a daily basis, then do that. I’d rather know at the end of the day that a guy liked me because I was myself rather than because I played the games the right way.